For Nikita Thakrar, Diwali’s message of light overcoming darkness carries a deeply personal meaning. Born in Britain into an Indian family, she spent years navigating the tension between two cultural identities, searching for a sense of belonging and a clearer understanding of who she was.
At school, peers told her to “go back to where I came from”. Yet she struggled with a question that had no easy answer: where did she truly belong?
At 16, she legally changed her name, feeling that the identity she had inherited did not reflect her authentic self. Two years later, while her friends prepared for university, she travelled alone to India. Although she told her family she was going to study Indian classical dance, her deeper motivation was to find herself.
A Decade in India: Finding Connection Through Dance and Spirituality
Nikita spent ten years in India, training intensively in Kathak and studying yoga and Vedantic philosophy. The experience gave her dedicated teachers, discipline, a spiritual framework and a renewed connection with her body and cultural heritage.
However, the journey did not provide a complete or permanent answer to her questions about identity.
Over time, she came to understand that belonging cannot simply be handed down through a name, homeland, tradition or family. Instead, it involves consciously deciding which parts of one’s inheritance to carry forward and how to make them meaningful.
For Nikita, Kathak became a bridge between Britain and India, allowing her to embrace both cultures without viewing either as an incomplete home.
Building a Community, Then Letting Go of an Identity
After returning to Britain, Nikita founded a dance and yoga school that grew into an award-winning community serving more than 100 students each week. For two decades, the school became a source of purpose, connection and professional identity.
But personal growth eventually brought a difficult realisation: the role that had once made her feel alive no longer represented the entirety of who she had become.
At 40, she chose to give up the business, despite it not having failed. The decision meant confronting uncertainty, including fears of disappointing others, losing relevance and discovering who she was without the role through which people had come to know her.
Her experience reflects a broader challenge faced by people navigating major life transitions: an identity that once provided meaning and direction may not always fit the person they are becoming.
Diwali and the Darkness We Carry Within
Diwali is widely associated with the triumph of light over darkness. For Nikita, however, the festival also invites reflection on the quieter struggles that can exist within individuals and communities.
For many people across the South Asian diaspora, questions of belonging can be shaped by inherited expectations, cultural pressures and patterns repeated over generations. The search for identity may involve navigating family traditions, social expectations and the desire to feel at home in more than one culture.
Nikita believes that lighting a lamp during Diwali can serve as a reminder to look inward rather than search endlessly for answers in external roles, cultural labels or other people’s expectations.
The process, she suggests, does not require a new name, a different country or a perfect understanding of oneself. It begins with listening honestly and recognising which parts of one’s story genuinely feel true.
From Inherited Patterns to Conscious Purpose
These reflections now inform Nikita’s work as a TEDx speaker, author and identity and purpose mentor.
Her TEDx talk explores creativity as a bridge from chaos to clarity, while her forthcoming book, Journey from Karma to Dharma: The Bridge from Inherited Patterns to Conscious Purpose, examines how people can move beyond inherited patterns towards a more conscious sense of purpose.
Rather than telling people who they should become, Nikita encourages them to reflect on the identities and expectations that have shaped their lives and consider what they genuinely wish to carry into the future.
Her central message is that personal clarity cannot simply be borrowed from a role, a culture or another person’s expectations. It emerges through honest reflection and a willingness to distinguish what feels authentic from what has merely been inherited.
A Diwali Invitation to Reflect
As families and communities light lamps this Diwali, Nikita invites people to consider a simple but meaningful question: what are they carrying because it truly belongs to them, and what are they holding only because it was handed down?
Her story highlights the complex relationship between cultural heritage, personal identity and belonging. It also offers a reminder that embracing one’s roots does not have to mean surrendering the freedom to grow and change.
For Nikita, the light within is not something another person can provide. It is something each individual must learn to recognise through reflection, conscious choices and a deeper understanding of their own story.
Nikita Thakrar is a TEDx speaker, author and identity and purpose mentor. Her forthcoming book, Journey from Karma to Dharma: The Bridge from Inherited Patterns to Conscious Purpose, is scheduled for publication in January 2027. Learn more at journeywithnikita.com.
